To Make It Public . . .

Duality to scare me
Makes me panic.
Can't concentrate on one
and the other is right there.
I need a day to myself.
Just one day.
I need to strut down the street with my headphones
and myself

(I still haven't gotten used to the words just appearing before me on a computer screen)

And all I could think on the bus ride home
was that I could fly
and I could love to do it
not be afraid.
Just lift off the ground
(with my music)
strut through the sky
dancing
I'd point to stars, and they light up
at my whim.

They'd be me

And it's all spinning around me
and I got nothing to worry about
but crazy
little
nothings

Fear and love
together
such a strange combination
anger and love
hate and love
something I can't quite put my finger on
and love
and I've felt love in its purest form
unaccompanied

It is not as good as this.

I feel sweet
the fear makes me alive
anger, hate
my breath comes deeper
stronger
in a duality.
good and evil
a force to be reckoned with
i am a woman scorned
and the love i feel is dangerous

I am giddy now
I am lovely now
I am fucken pissed
I am everythingsensuoushatedexasperatedfuckedscreamingcryinglovedandlovelyflyingflyingflying
starsnothingdistractedpissedashellGOODANDEVILatthesamefuckentime
flyingflyingflyingflyingflying . . .

there is a duality

there is a duality

there are two things in everything
working together
at the same time
everywhere
I am a woman scorned
I am loved
I know it
I am hated
I know it
I love
I hate
I fuck
My head can't hold all this shit in
Too fucken small

flyingflyingflyingflyingflyingflying

. . . . .